Currently Listening Man on Fire La Nina see related

It took me 30 years, but I finally get it now. When I was 5 years old and did something bad, I got punished accordingly by my parents. I was so jealous at them, they were so big, and they had such power over my life. All I wanted to be was a grown up so I could do whatever I want, eat all the candy in the world and just play all day long if I wanted to. My parents warned me about growing up, they said something about responsibility and that it wasn easy being a grown up. Like every kid, I just thought it was something they said but it turns out to be true.

The only puzzling thing is why it took me so long to realize it. In Norway you are officially a grown up when you are 18, but I guess I am just a bit slow. I have lived my life like I was 5 years old the last 12 years just doing what I like. Sure I got jobs, but as a 5 year old I realized that money didn actually grow on trees, so I figured it was a small price to pay for the freedom. Instead of playing with LEGO, I just started playing with computers instead. Instead of having a snowball fight, I have fought many battles in computer games and I did it alone. Alone is the keyword here, as long as there was only me to think about, I could do whatever I want. My 30 year old childhood has been really great and it hard to let go, but I know that it what best for me and for the people that depends on me.

All the responsibility has gradually been pushed upon me, and I think I am a grown up now, or a grown up wannabe. I didn ask for this responsibility but it a natural thing in anyone life at some point. I just a bit slow, that all. Can I still be a kid? I don think so, not anymore. Not if I want to have the things I want the most. I used to think that was the freedom of a kid, to do whatever I want when I want, but that just part of it all.

I have people who depend on me, people who value my decisions and respect me for what I do and who I am. As a human being, I respect that, I welcome that, in fact I am loving it. So goodbye little J, goodbye little man, it been fun! I will visit you from time to time, when it appropriate, and I hope you can do the same. It time to grow up?/span>

BTW! I am not leaving Xanga :D